Collapsed
by goodnightsweetprince
Summary: Hermione hears of Ron's poisoning and races toward the Hospital Wing. What does a woman in love think while racing to what may be her beloved's death bed? Song fic to 'Collapsed' by Aly and AJ Michalka. Hermione's POV during chapter 19 of HBP. 'Elf Tales'


A/N- Here you go peoples! I really like this song, and every time I hear it, I think of Ronniekins and his beloved friend. Lavender is a brunette in this story.

Disclaimer- (sarcasm)I'm thinking of changing the last word of the series fom "scar" to "End". (/sarcasm) The song "Collapsed" belongs to Aly&AJ Michalka.

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Hermione, at the moment, was in the library. It was the only place she could go without getting glimpses of a red haired someone and a brown haired someone crashing about recklessly, attached at the lips. Or hips? Maybe both. She absently tugged at a strand of her accursed mane wondering, also absently, why that brown haired someone couldn't have been her. The book she had pulled from the shelf was gathering dust faster than the book titled Feeding Man-Eating Slugs for Dummies.

Her visits to the library were now, more than anything, either to get away from Lavender and Ron, or to think about the latter. It was never about getting a book anymore. She only picked one out because Madam Pince had a tendency to kick out anyone without a book adhered to their face.

Ron Weasley, or better known as "Won-Won", these days, popped into her mind whenever he got the chance. His face brought back memories as small as "Oy, peabrain!", to as large as "I'll help." From as happy as "We Won!" to as painful as "Fraternizing with the enemy."

_You were the one_

_That I couldn't find_

_Hidden away_

_In the depths of my mind_

Friends didn't do this to each other, she decided. It wasn't right to make your best friend think constantly of you, day and night, as she was sure his purpose was. But then again, he wasn't deep enough to want something like that. This was probably his idea of revenge for doing..something..that didn't agree with him. Like her not doing his homework for him. She sighed. It just wasn't like him to turn his back on her for so long. Even after the Yule Ball, they were friends again by the next day. But it _was _like him to blow things out of proportion over something trivial. That must be it. He was tired of her constant harrowing over homework. Or something of the sort.

At least, that was what she was telling herself, and, right now, it was working quite nicely.

_Why did I let you go?_

_You're too good to be true_

_I messed it up and now_

_I don't know what to do_

The door was pushed open, and in came Professer McGonagall, looking somber. She exchanged some words with Madam Pince, and turned towards Hermione's direction. She quickly moved in front of her and said in a quivering tone, "Miss Granger! Why aren't you at the hospital wing?" Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. "The... the hospital wing? But Professor, why would I be at the hospital wing?" "Mr. Weasley. He's been- he's been poisoned." Hermione ran out of the library, leaving her bookbag next to the chair in her haste.

All hostile thoughts Hermione had ever used against Ron flew out of her head, falling to the ground to be later stomped on by millions of feet that belonged to students rushing to get to their classes. Her hair streamed behind her in ungraceful whisps; Her eyes burned as wind blew sharply into them, but she wouldn't blink because all she need right now was to trip stupidly over something. She panted as she let worries pour into her head.

Was he alright? Would he make it? How badly poisoned was he? What would happen if he died, and the last thing he heard from her was her stony silence? What if he never hears her tell him her true feelings?

Her gasps for breath were punctured by the sound of sobs.

_We ran in circles and wasted time_

_From right to wrong_

_From right to wrong..._

She reached a corner, turned sharply, and nearly crashed into Ginny, who was standing next to a worried-looking Harry. She felt ready to collapse, and might have if Ginny hadn't supported her by holding her forearm tightly. Her face felt numb from her hair cutting at her skin. Ginny was looking at her funny, and it took a moment to realize that the tears that had gathered in her eyes with nowhere to go because of gravity, were now sliding down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away with the palm of her hand and blurted out in a voice unlike her's, throaty and an octive higher than normal, "Is he alright?"

Ginny and Harry tried to tell her what had happened, but all she wanted to hear was a simple "yes" or perhaps a "you can come in now" from Madam Pomfrey. She closed her eyes in frustration and figeted; her heart was still racing from the running, and the thoughts that came to her during._ What _would _happen? _She couldn't live without him. With out his... everything. It was part of her, engraved in her mind. She knew that and it wasn't a strange thought to her anymore. For the past year, it all seemed to be about him; What did he think about this? What did he believe about that? She knew that Harry should have been her main focus, but everytime Ron looked at her with those inquizative eyes, daring smirk, bright smile, it compelled her to do anything that was needed to get closer to him.

_If I knew that you were mine_

_I wouldn't have wasted time_

But then he had, still has, his little stunt with _Lavender. _How she wished she could rip that sickening, lipglossed smile of her face. She didn't know how it started, or why, but all she could do was sit there and watch, occasionlly hexing things and/or people. She hadn't intended to show her feeling that way, as Ron had in their fourth year, but it had spilled out of her, as the tears do every time she thinks of his lips touching that bimbo's.

Of course, out of jealousy, she had only made things worse. _McLaggen? _What had she been thinking? Nothing, for her rational thoughts had been blotted out by unneccesary rage. She wished she could take a Time-Turner and and go back, back to the very beginning, so that she would never have met the infuriating prats, Ron Weasley and Harry Potter. It would have saved her of all headaches and heartaches, all the gallons of tears.

But it was too late now, and all she could do was watch, occasionally hexing things and/or people.

_I wish I could erase the past_

_Now it's all collapsed in my lap_

Back in her fourth year, when she had come to accept her feeling for her best friend, she remembered fearing what would come when she did finally admit her feelings. Even though it was so blatantly obvious, she still doubted that he liked her, so when it came to telling him, she thought he would give her the cold shoulder, that it would ruin their deeply established friendship. She couldn't - wouldn't- live through that. The best solution was to forget about her infatuation. It was just that - an infatuation. Wasn't it?

_I over thought_

_So locked up my heart_

_Yeah_

And now she remembered the look on his face when he saw her with Victor Krum. Was that how she had looked? He had looked as though he was ready to spit venom. That's how she had felt.

She balled her fists. He deservered it, everything he went through, the insufferable- "Potter, Weasley, Granger? You may see him now. But be quite!" Madam Pomfrey hissed, opening the door for them to enter. She, Ginny, and Harry crammed through the opening, and Pomfrey glared at them. Her heart skipping, she immediantly saw a shock of red hair and sped forward, nearly knocking a bed side table over.

His hair was vibrant against the starch-white pillowcase, and his freckles stood out on his pale skin.

He was breathing.

He was alive.

_There you stood_

_Your blue eyes hidden beneath your hood_

Fred and George soon joined them, and when Harry recounted the incedent, she listened. She then spoke for the first time to, of course, give helpful information. "Then the poisoner didn't know Slughorn very well," she interjected, her voice cracking after so little use. "Anyone who knew Slughorn would have known there was a good chance he'd keep something that tasty for himself." She surprised herself; how could she possibly be thinking logically after all that's happened? But her thoughts were interrupted by another voice - not that of the twins or Harry or Ginny- that was just as scratchy as her's.

"Er-my-nee"

_Why did I let you go?_

_You're too good to be true_

_I messed it up and now_

_I don't know what to do_

Her heart gave a leap that seemed to reach her throat, and she nearly choked on the intestine that wasn't even there. He was asleep; Madam Pomfrey had told them when they had walked in, so the fact that he had _talked_ wasn't what made her surprised. I was what he had _said_ when he had spoken that made her think.

Was he dreaming of me? she thought wistfully. Had the sound of my voice made him think of me? It was a lovely idea, but nothing more. Nothing more that those wild fantasies she has while hiding behind a book, looking intently at the page, but not actually reading. Whatever it was that made him say her name had notheing to do with him dreaming of her. Besides, he hadn't really said her name, had he, only something that had sounded like it.

_We ran in circles and wasted time_

_From right to wrong_

_From right to wrong_

After Hagrid burst into the infirmiry and Madam Pomfrey had cleared off (she thought it had been rather rude how Pomfrey had counted Hagrid as more than one visiter, and was quite happy to have her gone), Hermione wearly tried to concentrate on the task before hand- trying to figure out who did it. She had many theories, but she nearly laughed when Hagrid suggested it was somebody trying to knock out the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Why was Quidditch the first thing to reach a male's mind?

However, she figured, he was possibly correct in that Katie Bell's and Ron's injuries had something to do with each other. She thought about it for a moment. Obviously, the wepons were completely different - a cursed necklace and poisoned mead - but circumstances in which the injuries occured had to be taken into account. She was quite certain that the poison hadn't been intended for Ron, the same with Katie and the necklace. But of course, neither had made it to the correct victim. To be making such bold attempts at murder, why weren't they more careful? How many people would get hurt before the right one was killed? Goodness knows how reckless this person was, and perhaps that just made the situation much worse. She relayed her thoughts to the surrounding people.

Quite suddenly, the doors flew open once again, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley made a beeline for Harry. She couldn't blame them - they had some much to be thankful for. If she hadn't a llick of sense, she might have flung herself at Harry, too, but she saw just how uncomfortable he got with people acting like he was a hero.

But he was. I he hadn't saved Ron in time... Well, she could only begin to imagine the horrible things. No Ron. An empty space in the middle of her heart. No one to love her, to tease her, to gloat to her, to beat her at chess, to make her laugh and cry all the same.

_My mind is blank just like a clean slate_

_Will I meet another guy with the same blue eyes_

_And the same name with the Converse shoes I gave?_

_Will he have the same laugh, wear my home made hats?_

_Or will I make another mistake and think he's just another fake?_

Hermione Granger was blissfully in love with Ron Weasley.

_Wish I could erase the past now _

_Wish I could bring you back_

Nothing, and yet, everything stood in their way of becoming something more.

_If I knew that you were mine_

_I wouldn't have wasted time_

_I wish I could erase the past_

_Now it's all collapsed in my lap_

But at least he was alive. Friends or more, as long as he was in her life, everything would be alright. If he hadn't survived, she concluded, everything would have just...

_If I knew that you were mine_

_I wouldn't have wasted time_

_I wish I could erase the past_

_Now it's all collapsed in my lap_

...collapsed.

(A/N- "Oy, pea-brain!" pg. 175 of SS (American version) "I'll help." pg. 292 of POA (AV) "We won!" pg. 702 of OotP (AV) "Fraternizing with the enemy" pg. 421 of GoF (AV)

Some dialog was taken from chapter 19 in HBP (AV)

I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if you have any suggestions, questions, comments, or corrections (espesially corrections)!

P.S. I'm feeling rather uninspired at the moment, so if any of you have any plot bunnies, I'd be happy to write them out!

P.P.S. I'm terribly sorry it took so long!)


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